The Lizard King, Act I

Setting: a college apartment, couch, large TV, Xbox.  TV is currently displaying start screen of Call of Duty.  JACK, brown hair, is sitting on the couch, controller in lap, looking bored.

FRANCO, dark-haired, handsome, enters.

JACK (annoyed): Hey, you’re late!  I’ve been waiting for, like, twenty minutes!

FRANCO: Oh, sorry.  I got a girl’s number on the subway, though.  Thinking I’ll bring her on the double date with you and Kendrick tonight.

JACK: She hot?

FRANCO: Hot enough to make it to date three!

JACK: What about smarts?

FRANCO: Eh, smarts are evaluated after date three.

JACK: So she’s destined to join the long line of girls you date, bed, and then never call again.

FRANCO winking: That remains to be seen!

JACK and FRANCO begin playing Call of Duty.  As they play, CORKSCREW, tall, gangly, shock of strawberry blonde hair, bursts into the door, frantic.

CORKSCREW: Hey, do either of you know about the lizard king?

JACK not looking up from the game: What?

CORKSCREW: The lizard king!  Some girl yelled it at me on the subway as I was coming home!  Is this some new slang I don’t know about?  Is it a gang symbol?

FRANCO: What girl?  What did she look like?


JACK: Hey, maybe you’re dating the lizard king.

CORKSCREW: She yelled, “Watch out for the lizard king!” at me.  Maybe he’s like an escaped alligator that lives in the tunnels.

JACK: Wouldn’t that be in the sewers, not the subway?

FRANCO: Seriously, what did she look like?

CORKSCREW: I’m assuming it looks like a giant lizard.  And I think it’s male.

FRANCO reaches over the back of the couch, without looking, and slugs CORKSCREW.

FRANCO: No, the girl.  What did she look like.

CORKSCREW shrugging: Dunno.  Cute, chesty, black hair in a bun thing, yelling about a lizard.

FRANCO: Crap, that sounds like her.

JACK smirking: Sounds like you picked a winner, Franco.  Can’t wait to meet her tonight.

FRANCO: Look, doesn’t disrupt my plans.  I’ll be her lizard king tonight, if you know what I mean.

CORKSCREW is pacing back and forth around the couch.  Every time he circles in front of the TV, JACK and FRANCO throw up their hands at him, but he doesn’t notice.

CORKSCREW: Look, I gotta find out more about this lizard king deal.  I’ll see you guys later.


JACK: Should we get involved in all that?

FRANCO: Nah.  One more game, then I gotta go make myself look nice for tonight.  He glances sidelong at JACK.  You should probably freshen up too.

JACK: Kendrick and I have been dating for three years, she knows what she’s got.

FRANCO: I thought you two were in a rut.

JACK: Not a bad one.

FRANCO shrugs.  Whatever.  Headshot!

Curtain closes.  END ACT 1

Act II

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