A Buzzing in the Brain

Foreword: I thought of this story late at night, and was immediately repulsed by it.  If you’re squeamish or don’t like to think of things in your ears, you might wanna skip it.

Buzz.  Buzz.  I can’t get it out of my head.

Heh heh.  Literally.  God, I can feel it moving.

It all began in the bathroom the other day.  I was cleaning my hands but one of those tiny flies was buzzing around.  It was one of those really small ones, the type that are impossible to see or catch, but sound like a helicopter is coming in for a landing whenever they get near my ears.  The thing kept on swooping in front of my eyes and diving around my head, oblivious to my ineffectual swatting.

The damn thing finally landed in my ear!  Seizing the opportunity, I grabbed for a cotton swab while keeping my head still.  As soon as the swab was in my head, I vigorously ground it into my ear.

I had thought that the fly was just sitting on the surface of my ear.  Unfortunately, the thing had been perched right at the entrance to my ear canal, and my vicious swabbing forced it deep inside the ear.

The fly went berserk!  The buzzing of its wings sounded like jet engine attempting to take off inside my head. I could feel the sensation inside my ear, something painfully thumping against the walls of my inner ear.  I screamed, now clawing at the ear with the swab in hopes of dislodging the insect, or at least killing the horrible thing.

My attempts were futile.  Instead of dislodging the bug, it crawled even deeper into my ear.  I was on the floor, twitching, trying to find something to do.  Finally, after an agonizing eternity, I remembered that water or oil was supposed to wash foreign objects out of ears, lifting them up as the ear filled.

I grabbed for a cup sitting next to the sink and, panting as I struggled to control my movements and not flail wildly from the pain and disturbing sensation, I poured a cup of water into my ear.  At first, it did nothing, but then I felt that unmistakable sensation of water entering my inner ear.

Nothing was happening.  Nothing was happening!  I screamed again, from equal parts helplessness, pain, and rage.  But then, the buzzing ceased!  I felt a final brief scrabbling of horrible hairy lags inside my ear, and then the insect stopped its movements!  I threw my head to one side, and as the water flowed out of my head, I saw the hated fly emerge, trapped in the liquid.  I crushed it into oblivion with my thumb.

That was almost a week ago now.  The next morning, when I woke up, I could hear it.  A very faint buzzing noise that always seemed to be coming from my right, no matter which way I turned my head.  It’s been there for the last two days.  Water won’t flush anything out.  I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.

I think it laid eggs.

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