Auto-Interview!

If a biography written about oneself is an autobiography, an interview on one’s self must be an autointerview!  Hooray for applying common logic to grammar and new word formation!

Are you a real writer?
I’m not quite sure how to answer.  I’ve written everything on the site (and more!).  However, I am not yet a published author.  My day will come, I hope!

Oh my god, you’re totally ripping off so-and-so with that story that you wrote!  How could you be so despicable!?
All of my stories are original – I tend to daydream a lot, and random ideas for stories and posts pop into my head.  Sometimes, I may be daydreaming about a book I read, or some real life events, but I try to make everything original!  It is different enough to save me from being sued, and that is the most important thing.

So, you must like zombies, huh?
Not especially, why?

Well, your blog is called Missing Brains.
The name actually came from a conversation, in which I was trying to explain a story idea to my girlfriend.  She told me that it sounded like “part of my brain was missing.”  Hence, I decided I must have lost it, bit by bit, in my writing!  These stories are therefore my “missing brains.”  Clever, huh?

No.  That’s dumb.
I’m sorry you think that.  And when I say I’m sorry, I’m not really sorry at all.  Zing!

Can I please copy one of your stories?
Thank you for asking, but no!  Everything on here is my original work, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t simply take it willy-nilly.  If you want permission, feel free to contact me and we can work something out – I’m happy to share, as long as I am informed!

Do you do guest posts?  Can I do a guest post?
Yes and yes!  I love to write for other sites as well as for my own, and will happily write a guest post for your blog.  I will also happily publish one of your guest posts, as long as it isn’t vulgar, incredibly offensive, disturbingly racist, filled with explicit adult content, or just really poorly written.  If it is poorly written, I will offer you suggestions on how to tweak the post – I’m afraid you are out of luck with the other categories.

Why are all your stories so full of science?  It makes them boring.
I’m sorry to hear that, but I happen to like science!  I actually majored in genetics, so a lot of scientific concepts and futuristic ideas really spark my imagination and fuel my creativity.  I write about what I find interesting, and those out-there science fiction discoveries suggest that there is far more to this universe than what we understand.

I found a mistake in your writing!  You’re flawed!  You’re wrong!  I will never accept your word on anything ever again, and I now look at you as a failed and useless artifact of humanity!
That’s a little harsh, don’t you think?  I will admit, I can at times be a bit of a grammar Nazi.  I prefer proper sentence structure and punctuation, to say the least.  However, I am not an English major (see previous question), and I may occasionally make mistakes.  Point them out and I will fix them.  If you’re nice, maybe I’ll find some way to reward you!

Reward me with money?
Hahahahahaha nope.  As a recent graduate working for a nonprofit, I’m very poor.

Aww, that sounds very sad!  Can I offer you some of my money to make you feel better?
How wonderfully generous of you, good sir or madam, to support a true starving artist!  I actually eat quite well when I don’t burn my food, but I do appreciate any donations.  I’m setting up a donate button, so until that is finished, your visits to my site are reward enough.  Although if you mention my site in glowing terms to your friends, that will also make  me happy!

You smell funny.
Okay, I think this interview is over.

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