Possession talk around the neighborhood grill

SETTING: The neighborhood barbecue, over by the grill.  The men are gathered around the grills, occasionally poking at the meat, while the women gossip and the children run around, chase each other, and occasionally scream.  It’s a warm, sunny summer day, with the slightest of breezes rustling the leaves on the trees.

“Man, you cannot be serious.  On either count.”

“No, I swear it’s true!  Summoning ritual gone wrong, the whole nine yards.  It’s really the only way for me to explain it.  She’s nothing like how she used to be.”

“No, man, demons don’t exist.  It’s all hogwash.”

“Yeah, what Jerry said.  No such thing.  Bill, did you ever think that maybe she just conked her head or something?”

“Come on, guys!  You think I wouldn’t notice if she had a big bump on her head?  And no, it has to be possession.  I mean, it all started with the book, anyway.”

“Yeah, what about that?  How did this happen in the first place?”

“Well, her Aunt Agatha died a couple weeks ago.”


“Sorry to hear that, man.”

“Eh, no big loss.  We didn’t know her well, and the woman was crazy.  Always wore black, stayed locked away in her old Victorian house, one of those shut-ins.  But we went up to pack up her stuff, and we found the book.”

“The book that possessed her.”

“No, Keith, I don’t think the book possessed her.  But the book had the spell that summoned the demon that possessed her.”

“Wait, man.  So who said the spell?”

“Jerry, I was just getting to that!  Anyway, since you asked, I think my daughter did it.  Sarah gave the book to her, since she’s getting into that whole “goth” nonsense, and next thing we knew, there was a pentagram in blood on our kitchen floor.”

“Her blood?”

“Nah, I think she grabbed one of the venison steaks from the freezer and dragged it around.”

“Oh.  Hey, those were delicious, by the way.  Thanks for sharing them.”

“My pleasure, we had more than we’d ever eat.  But so Sarah’s the first one into the kitchen when we hear all the chanting, and she just freezes.  And I swear that I saw a cloud of smoke go shooting into her mouth.”

“Not a smoker, is she?”


“Huh.  Man, that’s crazy.”

“So what, do we need to exercise her or something?”

“Dude, I think you mean exorcise.”

“Yeah, whatever.  How do we get the demon out?”

“Well, wait a minute!  See, at first I was thinking the same thing.  But now, I’m actually kind of not minding Sarah being possessed.”

“Wait, what?  But there’s a demon in her, you’re saying!”

“Yeah… but the demon is trying really hard to pass itself off as a human!”

“What’s that mean?”

“Well, she’s doing the dishes, cleaning the house, buying groceries, taking care of all the chores – and trust me, she’s like an animal in the bedroom now!”


“Hey!  It had been a while for us!  Sometimes a guy is just happy to be getting some, even if the woman might have a tiny little demon in her!”

“Well, maybe.”

“So Bill, what are you going to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know.  I’ll take her to church on Sunday, maybe.  If she doesn’t start smoking in the service, well, maybe it’s for the best, you know?”

“S’pose so.  Crazy in the bedroom, you said?”

“Oh yeah.  I’ve got scratches all up and down my back.  And I think she’s even more eager than I am!  Makes me feel like a teenager again!”

“Well, damn.  Think your daughter could bring that book over to my place?”

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