[AGttA] Chapter 5.1: Demon Smiting, In Theory And Practice

Continued from Chapter 5.1, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Axiom 5: Learn as much as possible.

“Eremiel, huh?” I asked, as we ambled back to our home base, the angel plodding along in between us.  

He nodded as he walked along.  Even though I didn’t see any wounds or marks on his wings from when we’d dropped the cables on him, he didn’t seem motivated to fly above us.  I wondered if it was bad manners to ask, but eventually my curiosity overcame my reticence and I asked him.

The angel just shrugged.  “I don’t particularly feel like flying,” he replied, and I decided to leave it at that. Continue reading

[AGttA] Chapter 5.0: An Angel in the Hand

Continued from Chapter 5.0, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Axiom 5: Learn as much as possible.

“Oh my god,” I said for at least the fourth time, staring down at the angel trapped in our messy collection of weighted cables and wires.  “Oh my god.  It worked.”

“Of course it worked,” Alice replied, although the expression on her face looked just as shocked as I felt.  “I told you it would work, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t believe you.”  We started picking our way cautiously down towards where the angel still struggled and grunted, working carefully to keep mostly hidden back behind the rocks.  

In my hands, I hefted the baseball bat that I’d brought along as a weapon.  I doubted that it would really do much to an angelic messenger of God, but it still felt comforting in my grip, and I hefted it in front of me like a sword.  On the other side of the narrowed pathway, Alice held a shotgun that she’d retrieved from a sporting goods store, and that she carried with a sense of disturbing familiarity.

Two humans against an angel.  I wondered how far we were from even odds.

Probably pretty far away. Continue reading

[AGttA] Chapter 4.2: Eremiel’s Feud with Rocks

Continued from Chapter 4.1, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Axiom 4: Keep clear and open communications.

Eremiel grumbled to himself as he drifted along, following the same path that he’d traced out for the last two months.  The grumbling was odd, particularly because Eremiel hadn’t noticed how odd his grumbling truly was.

Angels don’t grumble.  What is there for them to grumble about?  They are the beloved of God, the chosen messengers who carry his Word far and wide, to all reaches of the Heavens and the Earth.  They get to sit and attend with their creator, the most Divine One.

In short, they have the kind of job that would make a recruiter bite a pencil in half.

There’s no reason for an angel to grumble.  Besides, even if one of them did entertain thoughts that cast doubt on the incredible kindness and munificence of his employer, he had only to remember what happened to the last angel to raise a few quarrelsome points, and he’d quickly change his tune.

And yet, despite all of this, Eremiel grumbled to himself as he floated onward.

At the moment, he was growling about a small rock. Continue reading

[AGttA] Chapter 4.1: Twang!

Continued from Chapter 4.0, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Axiom 4: Keep open and clear communications.

Huddling behind a rocky outcrop, Alice and I did our best to not move, breathe, or make a sound as the angel drew closer.

I had a dozen different thoughts running through my head, all of them competing with each other and screaming over the others in a wild attempt to be heard.

The angel was going to sense us.

The shadow wasn’t deep enough.  It could see us as soon as it turned its head.

We were going to die.  

Alice smelled strangely good, pushed up against me.

The wires weren’t going to stop the angel.  It was a creature of God, after all – how could it fail to break through a few strands of cable from a hardware store?

I really had to cough.  My throat tickled.

We were really going to die, right here. Continue reading

[AGttA] Chapter 4.0: Traps

Continued from Chapter 3.3, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Axiom 4: Keep clear and open communications.

So, one question: how do you go about capturing an angel?

The question proved to be a lot harder than I, or even Alice, anticipated.

The answers, however, began with a trip to the hardware store.

“What are we doing here again?” I complained as I tried to adjust the straps of the backpack slung over my shoulders.  We weren’t even halfway through the store, yet, and Alice had already loaded me up with at least twenty pounds of stuff.  “And why do we need all of this crap?”

“We need data, Jack,” Alice replied immediately, not stopping.  I watched as she paused to hoist a spool of thick wire, and groaned as she turned to me, holding it out to me.  “We can’t make bread without flour.”

“We’re making bread?” Continue reading

[AGttA] Chapter 3.3: A Plan to Stand

Continued from Chapter 3.2, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Axiom 3: Search for other survivors.

When I finished telling my story, I looked up at the girl, waiting for her to say something.  Maybe she’d congratulate me on doing such a good job of surviving in this hellish landscape, I considered.

“That’s it?” she asked.

“Thank you, it really was a lot of hard- wait, what?”  Okay, that wasn’t what I’d expected.

She looked around at the interior of my little home base.  “All you’ve done is sit here, eat canned beans, and just wait for something to happen?”

“I think I’ve still got some cans of tuna or taco meat-” Continue reading

[AGttA] Chapter 3.2: A Rude Awakening

Continued from Chapter 3.1, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Axiom 3: Search for other survivors.

The girl didn’t wake up gently, as I’d imagined that she might.

In my imagination, I saw her eyes slowly fluttering open, settling on me.  “Oh, you saved me,” she’d cry out as she slowly looked around at my fortress.  “And wow, you’ve totally prepared for this Apocalypse really well!  How can I possibly convince you to let me stay here, where you can guard and protect me?”

“Oh, I’m sure that we can come to some situation,” I’d gallantly reply, moving over to her and thoughtfully dabbing her brow with a wet cloth.  “But I do have to warn you, I only have one bed at the moment.”

“I’m sure that we can make something work,” she’d reply, looking up at me with soft, warm eyes, her hands reaching up to pull my lips down to hers…

At least, that’s how I thought it would play out… Continue reading

[AGttA] Chapter 3.1: Clear Liquids

Continued from Chapter 3.0, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Axiom 3: Search for other survivors.

“Oh man.  Oh, this is so bad.  Oh, geez.”  I panted these words to myself, over and over, as I scrambled over the rocks and dirt, heading towards where I’d seen my golf ball disappear – and the woman, possibly the only other human still alive, had collapsed.

I hadn’t meant to hit her with the golf ball!  I just wanted to get her attention – and besides, I always hooked my shots to the left!  I couldn’t have known that this one would go straight!

Finally, I hauled myself over one especially large chunk of shattered concrete, possibly the remains of an overpass support-

-and there she was on the other side, sprawled out in the dirt. Continue reading

[AGttA] Chapter 3.0: Always Yell “Fore”

Continued from Chapter 2.1, here.

Read it from the beginning, starting here.

Last entry, I wrote that I wanted something to change.

Well, that certainly happened today.

I woke up, made myself some coffee and ate a stale muffin for breakfast.  After I’d enjoyed my coffee as best I could (I’d been forced to learn how to enjoy coffee without cream, since there weren’t any cows in the Apocalypse, and I just couldn’t stomach that fake creamer stuff), I headed up to the roof of my building.

Up on top of the building’s flat roof, I grabbed my golf club and the big box of golf balls that I’d dragged up here a few weeks earlier.  Before the Apocalypse, I’d never been able to hit a golf ball, but this seemed like as good of a time as any to master this new skill. Continue reading

[AGttA] 2.1: Loneliness

Continued from chapter 2.0, here.
Click here to read the entire story from the beginning.

Axiom 2: Gather supplies.

Journal, it’s been close to a week now.  I know this, because I found a calendar covered in cute little pictures of kitties, and I’ve been crossing off the days on it.  Six crossed off days means that it’s been almost a week.

I’m not sure what I’ll do when I run past the end of December.  I don’t think they’re printing more calendars any longer.

Also, have I mentioned how much I hate eating beans? Continue reading